Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
