Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
