There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
only you would photoshop your dick
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
