so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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