i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
