Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
