She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
