I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
