How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
