Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
