i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
