I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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