Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
