Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
