so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
