She's JV to your varsity
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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