Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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