You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Randomize
