I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I don't deserve a penis
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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