If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
