Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
birth control should be required to get into college
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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