I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
