im gay
i know
yea but for you.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
