What a fucking waste of an outfit
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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