if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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