Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He is an equal opportunity slut.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Actions speak louder than pants.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
