I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
