you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
