I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
