I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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