i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
