Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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