i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So much Jack, so little girl.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
