ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
