Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
