you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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