You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
