Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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