Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
