Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
