I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Cover your peen. We're going out.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
