Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
