A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
