it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
