Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
