So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
