the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
