Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
