How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You pole danced in your parka.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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