It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
