Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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